Great V-Day Gift

Everybody's doing it, why not go ahead and invite someone to do it to you? This shirt makes a great Valentine's Day Gift.

Available here.

LOWERED EXPECTATIONS

Okay, in the past, if I forgot a birthday, I was a bad mother, a bad grandmother, a bad person. Now that I'm almost 60, if I forget a birthday, I say something like, "What month is this, anyway?" or "This is 1998, right?" or "I'm not sure where I am. Do I live here?" and the kids get so worried about memory problems, they forget about what a bad mother I really am.

I can practically get away with murder if, at the exact right moment, I play the suspected dementia card.

No one expects me to be on time, remember their birthday or cook Sunday dinner. The older I get, the less is expected of me. Pretty soon, I'll be able to spend all my time sitting in a rocking chair, reading a book.

Now, where did I put my glasses??

The lowered expectations extend to my appearance, too. I remember when the kids were teens and they cried, "Your jeans are too light-colored" or "You aren't wearing that to the school meeting are you?" or "Who cut your hair, the Barber of Seville?" Now that I am almost 60, I get the opposite. I can wear stone-washed jeans with sequin appliques and ask, "Do these look okay for going out to dinner?" and the kids are quick to nod their heads and give a thumbs-up. If they even look up from their texting.

No one expects me to look as put-together as I used to. So what if I'm not wearing a bra, they figure, at least she has her blouse on frontwards. And the buttons fastened correctly.

And when my roots show, the adult kids pretend not to notice. They are just thankful my hair isn't blue. Yet.

My house is a dusty mess, but no one says a word. They are just happy I am not asking to come live with them.

My car is parked crooked in the driveway but no one seems to notice. They don't expect me to park perfectly with these bifocals.

They laughed when they discovered my HD TV was not hooked up correctly and for the past year I had been watching plain old cable tv and commenting that this HD wasn't such a really big deal after all. And it wasn't a big deal .... until Ben hooked up the HDM1 cord and I was almost blinded by the clarity. But no one laughed at my foolish mistake..... they didn't expect any better of an almost 60 year old.

If I don't answer the phone, they think I haven't been able to hear it's ringtone.

If I don't answer their email, they think I'm having connectivity issues.

If I don't come visit often, they think it must be my hip bothering me.

Since I'm almost 60, they have really lowered their expectations.

And I am doing my best to live down to them!

c2010 Linda S Amstutz

THE 5 BEST THINGS ABOUT TURNING 60!

1. Only 7 more years 'til I get some of that Social Security money back.

2. Senior discounts!!

3. No one cares if I nap. They're actually happy to get rid of me for a few hours.

4. Early Bird Dinners!

5. 24 Hour Weather Channel!

c2010 Linda S Amstutz

EVOLUTION OF THE THANK YOU NOTE

Five years ago, a thank-you looked like this:







Two years ago, a thank-you looked like this:

This is how a thank-you looks now:

Where do we go from here????

c2009 Linda S Amstutz

LAPTOPS GONE WILD

Anyone else out there decorating their laptop with bumper stickers?

If you show me yours, I'll show you mine: