FINAL THOUGHTS 2011

As far as I can tell, there are two types of people in the world: Those who look back at the year and cry and Those who look back and cannot keep a straight face. 


I recently (and recently means every year for the past 40 years) asked my friends to look back at their soon-to-be-ended year and evaluate it.  


Like they do on television between Christmas and New Years Eve.  


On every darn channel.


Every darn night. 


And I noticed that all of my friends' reviews, both written and oral, both shared publicly and whispered privately, fall into those two categories - the criers and the laughers.


It's not that some have had a rougher year than others. Every single one of us has had our share of physical pain, emotional separation, unfulfilled dreams, disappointments, heartache and acid reflux. No one is exempt. 


But every single one of us also had early spring daffodils and the rustle of falling leaves, an occasional sweet dream, or two, and a friend who makes them laugh and access to books that take them away to better places and free music to lift their souls and the smell of chocolate and sometimes the kiss of a late-afternoon breeze on our cheeks that reminds us of what it feels like to be loved. 


I could say, "Poor. Lonely. Me. My son grew up and doesn't need me anymore. He hardly ever calls and now he's off to Europe and I don't even know what city he is going to or what day he will return."


Or, instead, I could say, "After all these years, my son is finally really growing up and being independent and I rejoice in his adulthood and I wish him many adventures and a lifetime of fun." And then I could give myself a pat on the back for doing such a good job raising him that he could have a life of his own, on his own two tattooed feet.


I could say, "My grandkids don't live in the same town as me and I don't get to celebrate holidays with them hardly ever and I really wish I could have a standing Friday night Grandparent Date Night with them, but I can't, so I will just sit here."


Or instead, I could say, "I have the funniest grandchildren in the world.  Two of the girls just hate the color pink and that really tickles me.  And my grandson has this way of laying his head on my shoulder while he hugs me and every time he does that, I am so filled with love that it hurts and I count every lucky star in the sky to have healthy grandkids, dirty diapers and all."   


I could say, "I spent the year recovering from knee surgeries and blistered fingers now I am in the midst of gum surgeries. I'd rather spend the money for a new, less saggy neck, but noooo, I have to have expensive surgery inside my mouth instead and no one will ever see the results or admire my healthy gums."


Or, I could say, "Hurray! I didn't have to cook or clean last year because of my fingers and knees and this year, I probably won't even have to chew my own food. And I am so lucky to have something wrong with me that can be FIXED!!! And, OMFG, I will be knee-deep in nitrous this year!!!"


So, take a minute, look back, and try to find some moments in your last year that made you smile. Look deep inside your pain and sadness and you just might find something happy hiding there, 'cause don't you know ...... Every burden carries with it something silly. 


Look for the silly. 


Find it and hold it close.


c2012 Linda S Amstutz